A Little Closer

I make progress one baby step at a time. For each sentence I complete, my goal is simple; get a little closer to the truth. Trim a little more of the fat. Sharpen your point. Clarify your aim. Now fire. 

Writing has always been there for me to help me do that. Writing helps me stay grounded. Writing helps me to understand what I’m worshipping and why. 

The things we worship may cause us pain or pleasure. Both experiences can yield a certain euphoria. I write to see how much I can handle. Can I stay on the razor edge between the two? Between chaos and order. Black and white. Pain and pleasure. Or will what I write just fall flat on its face, like I have so many times before? I most certainly will do it badly the first or fiftieth time, but at least I’ll have done more than if I didn’t do anything in the first place. 

At least I won’t be waiting to be consumed by my own drives which have no outlet. Never giving myself the opportunity to recharge; just staying run down but on life support – torturing myself with drops of dopamine unearned on a small screen. Maybe someone reading this will know what I mean.

And what do I mean? What do I mean to do? Well, I know that my immediate ambitions are quite clear; to get congruent and share that journey with the world. One baby step at a time.