I asserted a personal boundary because I loved and believed in the person enough to know that it would be in their best interest to respect it. 

I asserted my personal boundary in a way that invited the possibility of real change, real understanding, and mutual respect. 

I asserted my personal boundary, because if I didn’t then I would suffer unnecessarily and nothing would change, except I’d grow older and more used to it.

I asserted my personal boundary, because I had to.

I asserted my personal boundary to tell the person how I would and would not be treated. 

I asserted my personal boundary, and as a result, was more inclined to respect those of the person I asserted my personal boundary to.

I asserted my personal boundary, because I believe that in the future I and the person I asserted the boundary to will be better off because of it. 

I asserted my personal boundary, so that we could meaningfully coexist and have a greater chance of peace than war.

Strive to shape the way you assert personal boundaries with some of these criteria in mind, even on paper, and see how that changes the way they suit your circumstances. It may not work in every situation, but if you’re dealing with someone who really does care about you and this assertion is a necessary step to preserve the relationship, chances are they’ll be open to really adjusting their behavior. Be well.

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No matter how lofty the goal, with enough sacrifices and steps extracted from where you are to where you will need to be to achieve the goal, it can be achieved. 

Play the game of momentum against/with yourself as you were yesterday, today, and who you will become as a result tomorrow. 

Showing up for myself each morning is easier when I’ve prepared what that looks like the night before. 

The night before is a secret weapon to great days. 

The post On Breaking Things Down appeared first on Congruent Academy.

This is something I’ve been so fortunate to learn the hard way; but when it comes to radical personal transformation we’re playing a game of momentum. Initially the body can only handle so many massive shifts at one point in time. 

I’ll give you an example to illustrate my point. Let’s say I wanted to become the greatest version of myself – which is of course a worthwhile goal to pursue. And to do that I’ve identified that I need to stop all vices and study for 8 hours a day, work out 6x a week, read a book every day etc etc etc. 

At a certain point, usually early on, unless you’re superhuman there will probably be a slip up. You will inevitably realize that your initial expectations are not aligning with what you’re currently capable of sustaining in reality.  

This can breed discouragement and when you couple that with binging, you have a journey in the exact opposite direction that you wanted to be headed in. That is not sustainable. I’m currently re-experiencing this realization, and what I’ve set myself to do is gradually phase in the ‘good stuff’ and phase out what I know is no longer working for me. 

Keyword gradually. Rome was not built in a day, and neither were you. Try making one change at a time and sticking with that. Eventually, make the next one once that first change has stuck. One in and One out.

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It’s time to go into town, and really meet the day. I’ve made breakfast and done all my chores. I packed my bag full of things that should delight me; books and pens. But this train is full of eyes and I cannot see any friendly faces thanks to masks. Perhaps I’d do better to relax by scrolling.

Why do I always find myself with my phone in my hand? Is it the easy dopamine release upon which my brain feasts? 

And who am I without it? Am I the guy who can expand his discipline and attention span? Could I become the one that does what must be done? Could I travel foreign lands without my phone in my hand?

Or will it be, simply, that the next ping is the thing that softens the sting of everything?

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By people who from my eyes always shined

But in reality, they were not who they appeared to be

And so I find myself with strife towards all these ‘losers’ in my life

Of which I’m sure I am one, or I was. 

I still have empathy because we all can be losers at times in life

but that does not mean it has to be for life. 

Take responsibility and action. 

Watch what people do, and not just say. 

When they’re looking for reaction, calmly look the other way. 

Get on with it

Or else it will get on with you. 

I’ve been a loser in the past, and I know that may sound rough. 

But knowing that I was one changed me, for all the while I was good enough

To transcend the past & be present 

for the future 

Everyone gets f*cked in life

So why not read the Karma Sutra.

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In the darkness, rising is like waking from a lucid dream. Being able to explore the world without light, even for minutes, requires that I turn to my own inner light for guidance. And when the sun finally emerges, you’ll greet it warmly having beaten it to the punch.

The post On Early Mornings appeared first on Congruent Academy.

In my life, I have had many first days, and I’m sure you have as well. It’s important to recognize that the start of something new is an opportunity which will require sacrifice.

Make the sacrifices voluntarily wherever possible. Make them relevant to the opportunities you wish to further or create. This could mean sacrificing who you are now for who you could be. 

The first day is full of excitement and potential apprehension. The thought inevitably will arise ‘Did I make the right decision?’ Remind yourself of your why on the first day. Why did I do this? Why did I come here? And move forward congruently.

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Have you ever made a promise to yourself that you did not keep? Habits have a tendency of sticking around long after they’re due to leave. This time, I am changing things up.

Personal integrity aside, I know that this time, my promise is borne out of necessity. And that’s the key, recognizing that the motivation to keep this promise is a baseline for how I will be able to operate in the world as I wish to. 

It isn’t just a matter of willpower, it is a matter of sovereignty. So often, decisions that we make ourselves we feel have been made for us. This time, that will not be the case. 

My promise will be stronger this time, because I’ll need to recommit to it each day. Starting with today and restarting with each tomorrow.

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My schedule raises my bar a fraction, each day. The more reps that I put in, the more that value compounds across time. That’s how the greatest become the greatest. And as much as I look to them for inspiration, I don’t want to be them. I want to be the greatest version of myself, and so I only look back 24 hours to see how I can improve, rather than a person that I’ve never met who serves as god incarnate.

My schedule is nothing special, and yet it is my compass. My sacrifices should have been made a long time ago, and yet the fact that I willingly make them every day matters more to me than their delay. We possess all the tools we need. Anyone who has access to the internet has virtually every resource they could ever want to increase their quality of life. It’s important to remind myself of this when I feel like criticizing the world. Don’t criticize what you do not understand. 

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Writing has always been there for me to help me do that. Writing helps me stay grounded. Writing helps me to understand what I’m worshipping and why. 

The things we worship may cause us pain or pleasure. Both experiences can yield a certain euphoria. I write to see how much I can handle. Can I stay on the razor edge between the two? Between chaos and order. Black and white. Pain and pleasure. Or will what I write just fall flat on its face, like I have so many times before? I most certainly will do it badly the first or fiftieth time, but at least I’ll have done more than if I didn’t do anything in the first place. 

At least I won’t be waiting to be consumed by my own drives which have no outlet. Never giving myself the opportunity to recharge; just staying run down but on life support – torturing myself with drops of dopamine unearned on a small screen. Maybe someone reading this will know what I mean.

And what do I mean? What do I mean to do? Well, I know that my immediate ambitions are quite clear; to get congruent and share that journey with the world. One baby step at a time.

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